"So there's this boy...." :)

Have you ever been in love? You know what I'm talking about, the butterflies in the stomach, the incessant daydreaming, the smile you get on your face every time you talk about the person...any cliche you can think of basically. I know a lot of us have, and if not, you will have it at some point in life. Now onto a more profound question: Have you ever loved someone so much that both of you made a conscious decision to make it work and never let each other go regardless of the circumstances? I'm sure many of us also have had that, but fewer than those who just fell in love. I know for sure that I have had both. I've fallen in love a few times and kissed many frogs-could-have-beens and have-beens (not directed at anyone in particular; just a generalization)- but my current relationship-which I'm celebrating the four-month anniversary of today (! :) ) -is the only one where the latter question has come to light and been happily answered.
For those who are wondering what current relationship I speak of, I have an amazing boyfriend and his name is George. We met over the summer when I came home for summer break and he had started coming to my church and hanging out with some of my friends from youth group. Naturally, since I remembered almost everyone from youth group except him when I came home, I had no idea who he was. But I saw how much fun he was and how much he clicked with everyone at my church, my youth group friends and the older adults alike, and I thought he was kind of cute. I became curious and friended him on Facebook. Soon enough we started talking and before long he asked if I wanted to hang out with him. I knew I really wanted to support one of my friends -my soprano diva partner-in-crime in youth choir in fact- at her chorus concert, so I invited him to go. Even though he could only be there for the first 15-20 minutes or so, we had so much fun goofing off and singing along with all the Disney songs being performed. So much fun in fact, he asked me to hang out again. We spent some time helping our friend choose a tux for his prom, then spent time catching some sun and waves at the beach, then the next day we decided to watch "The Prince of Egypt" (which he bought!) and my "Toy Story" VHS after my orientation at work, where I was so cold he gave me his sweatshirt, which I have kept ever since. That night I had a feeling something good was coming-he referred to me as "someone special" in his status on facebook-and I was right: That night, right before he was about to leave, he gave me a note with the first verse of "A Whole New World" and afterward read: "So tell me princess..Would you be my girlfriend??" with checkboxes next to yes and no. Of course I couldn't resist his charm, so I said yes..and I kept the note as well. :)
For the rest of the summer we kept dating and spending a lot of time together, and he showed me what I really needed in a relationship. I loved (and still love) that he wanted to keep God in our relationship and that he is so open about sharing his faith and passionate about living it through words and even more through actions. He never once wanted to change me, but his drive to succeed and his openness and courage make me want to be a better person. His goofy personality and willingness to laugh at himself, while amusing to me a lot of the time, also made me not afraid to be myself and made it very easy to be comfortable around him. I'm sure that he's the only one to whom I said "I love you" and actually meant it. We've been able to be completely honest with each other when something in the relationship needs to change, and along the way we've made some awesome memories. I've met much of the scout troop he worked with back home and his scout friends at the Boy Scout Jamboree and one or two of his second mothers. When he graduated from Navy school I met his Nana and one of his influential high school teachers. Even if we weren't meeting anyone, we just made great memories just hanging out at the house watching "Family Guy". It just felt like the summer would never end.
However all good things must come to an end eventually. The summer was bound to be over soon enough as I had to return to CNU for school; luckily we still loved each other and it was easy to decide to stay together while I was at school. Then, after less than a week at school, we got some news that wasn't exactly the best: he had gotten orders to Florida because the Norfolk orders he could've gotten were given to the married guy in his class. We really wanted those orders to Norfolk so he could stay close, so when that didn't happen he was livid, and I was devastated. But after getting texting George that I still love him no matter what and he texted back saying he knew we could make a long distance relationship work, I was instantly comforted and relieved. It's still amazing to know that George loves me enough to never let me go no matter what; I really began to feel God's blessing on our relationship even more than ever.
Four months after the night he first asked me out, I consider my decision to be with George one of the best decisions I have ever made alongside deciding to go to CNU. We really bring out the best in each other and are also each other's best friend while keeping each other's minds and hearts in tact. I know God has the best plans for us, and I am so blessed and lucky that George is in my life. Now that we are making it work long distance, I am constantly reminded that even though we may be far apart, we are still close in heart. As long as that saying holds true I know we will make this work. <3 :)

Wake-Up Call

So I know I haven't contributed to this blog in a lonnnnggg time, but due to recent events in the news I simply cannot keep silent. As you all may have heard by now, Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi committed suicide after being outed on the Internet by his roommate. Today I saw a link on my friend's wall that a Johnson and Wales student also committed suicide, making him the fifth gay youth to take his own life in three weeks. As Ellen DeGeneres said in a video on her talk show website, one suicide is tragic enough. Five is a crisis. And these are just the incidents we heard about: there were also two suicides at my high school this past year, and who knows how many more have gone unreported and how many more teenagers have suffered or continue to suffer in silence.
The fact that the majority of these suicides have been caused by bullying is a crisis in itself. Seriously, I'm well-aware that the Bible condemns homosexuality as a sin-however nobody said anything about condemning homosexual PEOPLE, human beings, brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ. That said, the attitudes up in this peace towards people that are different are just absurd. Whatever happened to loving your neighbor as yourself? Have we forgotten that Jesus Christ died for our sins, and that only God has the right to judge and we do not? Haven't we realized that telling people that they will burn in hell is not the answer? Aren't we called to treat others the way we want ourselves to be treated?
I don't say this to shove my personal beliefs down other people's throats. But I do want this to serve as a wake-up call: to end the hatred and harassment, to put a stop to harsh judgment, and to love others as Jesus would love. That doesn't mean we have to agree with people's opinions, lifestyles, sexual orientations, etc, and that doesn't mean we have to like them, but it does mean we should accept them as they are and treat them as we want to be treated, and leave the judgment up to God.
Gays aren't the only ones who are being bullied and suffering. This can happen to anyone, regardless of race, gender, religious affiliation or sexual orientation. We need to wake up and reach out to those who are suffering, recognize that we are all imperfect and all sinners, because God's children should not have to take their own lives to end the hurt. We need to make a change, and I hope we can all be alive to make it happen.

Below is a website for "I Need a Lighthouse", a nonprofit organization founded by Kathy Wakefield several years ago to raise awareness about suicide/depression and suicide prevention. If you or someone you know is dealing with issues relating to depression or suicide , please look up the phone numbers on the website.

www.ineedalighthouse.org

Gratitude.

So Thanksgiving may be next week, but I've gotta say I've had a pretty good-no, really good-scratch that, great-fantastical week. And it's Wednesday, and that means a new Glee episode tonight to make the week even better. And I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm insanely thankful to God for everything that happened this week, and even before. So here's a sort of laundry list of what I'm thankful for right now:

Thanks God, for the autumn leaves falling from the trees-you created it all.

For the orchestra concert that went pretty fabulously Monday night.

For the meteor shower misadventure that same night.

For seeing family and having that support only they can give me.

For the coffee cheesecake that's in my fridge.(Thanks, Grandma!)

For sweet caffeine fixes and bagel sandwiches at Einstein's-and the really good service there.

For the new John Mayer album that came out yesterday.

For all the random,quirky, and plain funny things that go on during my day (like a sick classmate sounding like Batman)

For possessions we can have but don't have to chase after all the time

For that time when my roommates are sleeping and I'm awake and I can have that personal time with you.

For lessons learned, usually in bible study, outside the classroom

For great friends to share them all with, the good and bad.

For the opportunities (that I usually take for granted) to share my faith and let my light shine before people.

And really, for just being plain awesome.

For those who say that nothing can really make them this happy, well, God can, In fact He can do anything. All we have to do is give Him all control-as hard as it may be- for only He can truly satisfy our souls. And He is the ultimate source of sunshine.
If you're reading this, really think about how you've been blessed in the last week or so, and try to be a blessing to others, even if it's just smiling at everyone you see. Thanks for reading and have a great week! :)

my bucket list.

Ah, November.
So I just had a Spanish test today and it's cold, rainy, and just plain miserable outside. Usually this kind of weather puts me in a lousy mood, but today is different. In spite of the depressing weather I actually feel.... happy. It's most likely because "Glee" is coming back tonight after a two-week hiatus, but seriously, I feel great. I feel like going out and singing in the rain, even dancing (even though it won't look remotely close to Gene Kelly).

This is the kind of optimism I've been talking about, the kind we should strive for. And we should certainly look to the future not with worry or anxiety, but with hope, peace, and joy. And that is why I've decided to come up with my bucket list. I know, I'm only 18 and this may seem a little ambitious, but here goes:

1. Fall in love and get married
2. Have 2 kids
3. Sing the national anthem at the Super Bowl
4. Star in a movie musical
5. Attend Fashion Week in New York, Paris, Milan, London, etc
6. Travel Europe/ the world-mainly Thailand, Ireland, Austria, and South Africa
7. Release a CD and win a Grammy
8. Win an Oscar
9. Wake up and watch the sunrise
10. Dance in the rain
11. Watch the stars with the person I love and fall asleep
12. Live in New York City for a year
13. Live in Virginia Beach for the rest of my life
14. Randomly break into song..anywhere and anytime
15. Adopt a child from a country in need
16. Go on a mission wherever I'm called
17. Write a book
18. Do something silly
19. Teach someone something worthwhile
20. Write or be featured in "Vogue"

So a lot of it probably isn't in the right order, I would have generally put 9-14 first but I guess the first 8 came to mind before that. Oh how I need to re-prioritize. Alas, this is my bucket list, and you should make one too. Whatever the weather is where you are, remember to always see the sunshine! Have an awesome week! :)

My Life: The Musical

Ever wish your life was a musical? You know, you have something-either very good or catastrophically bad-happen to you and you just want to burst into song with everyone else singing/dancing backup? Or you've just had a somewhat monotonous day and want to liven it up and randomly break into song and dance?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my life.

No seriously. I may not be a music major, but I am insanely passionate about music. Whether I'm singing (in women's chorus, my a cappella group, in musicals, or in youth choir/praise team back home), playing cello in orchestra, or just listening to some John Mayer, Beyonce, Beatles, Earth Wind and Fire, Maroon 5, Relient K, Switchfoot, The Afters, Alicia Keys, etc. on my IPod, there is something very therapeutic about music. For example, I got back from my 8 am Spanish class just totally drained, and all it took was some Relient K while my roommate Robyn was still asleep-no Advil or Ibuprofen required- to get my spirits up. And now, an hour or so later, I started this blog. Like I said in my info, music helps me make sense of my life and of the world around me.

Well it would probably help if I introduced myself. My name is Hillary, I'm 18 and I'm a freshman at Christopher Newport University. I'm currently majoring in journalism, originally because I'm an avid reader of "Vogue" and wanted to be a fashion journalist. However music has always been my first love, so while I'm sticking with my major I'm torn on what I actually want to do with my life. However God has made it clear that I have been given a significant call or purpose for my life and I have all my life to follow it. The hard part is trusting that I will eventually know God's path for me and that His will for my life will be fulfilled. But I fully believe that Jesus Christ os the Savior of all humanity and with Christ, I can do anything (Philippians 4:13).

Anyway, back to my story. For the past month or so I've become obsessed-like most others I know- with the TV show "Glee". Basically this show took Wednesdays and made them awesome, and it's pretty much the most fun hour of the day. Even though I don't want all the drama in my life that the show contains, it wouldn't hurt to just break out into a wide variety of musical numbers- such as "Somebody to Love", "Bust a Move", or what some people call our national anthem, "Don't Stop Believin". (I also would have loved to see our football team dance to "Single Ladies" like the "Glee" football team did in the 4th episode, but I don't think they're up for it. Oh well.)

Really, I'd like to say that this is the kind of joy people need. I'm not saying you should go out and start a musical in some random place at some random time (although that would be pretty awesome), but if a TV show such as "Glee" can make people this happy, then I have a question:

Why don't we live in a 100% happy world?

To answer that question, I'll take you back to my ULLC on music and politics yesterday. Last week we started a case study on the Chilean "Nueva Cancion" (or New Song) movement of the 1960s through 1990s to end poverty and injustice in Chile. Yesterday we discussed the two main founders of the movement: Violetta Parra and Victor Jara. I never thought I would be so inspired by the two, but here I am talking about it on blogspot.

The first, Violeta, started this movement by going back into Chilean folklore and started bringing back and then writing indigenous music that is now mainstream in Chile. Her most famous song is "Gracias a La Vida", which means "Thank you, life" in English. This song isn't really very political; rather she thanks life for all she has and for the little things that usually are taken for granted. We later learned that her song was always associated with the Nueva Cancion movement because it showed how the little precious moments in life became more important as the political and economic inequality continued to exist and the poor were suffering immensely. I later searched Violetta Parra and discovered that ironically, two years after she wrote that famous song, she committed suicide due to her depression over a break up. It saddens me how someone who told others to be grateful for life and not take everything for granted took her own over something so small and temporary. Nevertheless, the song still packs a lot of meaning, so if you're interested, search Violetta Parra/ Gracias a La Vida on youtube.

Then there's Victor Jara. Jara was greatly inspired by Parra and the Chilean folklore. He wrote a song, "Te recuerdo Amanda." My teacher asked us to translate the title and without missing a beat, I responded: "I remember you, Amanda." (I win.) Anyway, Jara tells the story of two working class lovers whose relationship ends because Amanda's lover suffocates in the mines. This song later became a memorial for those who went missing or were killed during the later dictatorship. On September 11, 1973, the Chilean president Jara campaigned for, Salvador Allende, was killed after General Pinochet and his regime overthreww the government. The next day, Jara was performing and military officers stormed in and took Jara along with thousands of others. One of the officers recognized Jara and mocked him. As 5,000 watched in horror, Jara defiantly sang "Venceremos" ("We Will Win") and for four days he was beaten and electrocuted before dying from machine guns. Before his death and during his capture, he wrote a poem known as "Estadio Chile", which depicts the suffering of the 5,000 hostages. One of his lines really struck me:
"O my God, is it for this you created the world?"

That line got me thinking: Why is there so much sorrow in our world?

Basically, God is the only one who's allowed to be perfect. As for us humans, we're all screwed up. We were born in sin. Therefore, life isn't always fair. That's why there's always problems in the world: poverty, war, sickness, you name it. All we can do is trust God and have faith that we can change things, but we can't do it alone. We need a Savior, and if we accept Him, we have our amazing grace.

One verse I like is Romans 8:28: "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose." However some readers interpret it to mean only good things, which isn't true. It does mean that even the rough times and the unfair aspects of life can be used in God's overall plan for good. As Romans 8:35-39 reads:

"Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For your sake we are being killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

There you go. We have issues. We have terrible things going on in our world, and people are persecuted for their beliefs and opinions, but Christ will save us if we let Him.

In the end, I really wish our lives could be musicals. If we allow it, they technically are very musical indeed: musicals can't all be happy songs. There's usually a mix of the good, the bad, and the crazy. And God is the ultimate Music Maker. I'll leave you with a story about a movie I saw in my bible study yesterday called "The Music Box": it's basically a movie with , obviously, good music and bad 70s haircuts. But it has a great message about how God's love can make you all happy and musical and it needs to be shared. My hope is that I don't come off holier-than-thou, because we are all guilty of the same thing. But I do hope I inspire you to look at your life and live in the present. Just take advantage of the little things in your life and find joy and peace in them. And maybe someday soon, you'll find something to sing about.